Wild horses can't seem to drag me away! Four days of no contact with him ended with a rendez-vous that has left me wondering what the Hell was I thinking! Nothing has changed! That is what I keep telling myself. I have a fairly clear understanding in my head and now my heart what this relationship is about...and I still am not satisfied with it. I want, I need and I deserve something better. I am embarassed at all the drama I put myself througha and my dear friends....they held me up when I was crushed to the ground, they kept a hold on my hand and supported me with love. I needed them and they helped me so very much only for me to take this huge step forward and then allow myself to step backwards one half step.
I am working this week...well, always working on myself but this week working my cleaning buisness and today at my friend's boutique. The kids come back tonight and I will be Mom as well. It seems like the days pass and even though I don't feel like I am getting anywhere...I am not going backwards. Each day gets me closer to knowing who am I am how to be the best that I can be.
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